Eight Pound Workout (tm)
I have been developing this new workout. All you need is an eight pound weight, and you are ready to begin. You do not even need time to do this workout, because it is incorporated into your day. The key is that you just go about your business, and carry this eight pound weight with you.
Luckily, CostCo sells eight pound weights. They come in the form of buckets of cookie dough. I think the extra chocolate chips are what give the buckets their heft. Wherever you go, you take your bucket with you. The cookie dough is its own timer. When it is time for you to take a break, the dough will let you know by needing some refrigeration. (This can be determined by feeling the side to test the temperature, or squeezing the dough. I prefer squeezing the dough.)
While the Eight Pound Workout ™ is great for adding size to your muscles, some of us want tone and definition. Everybody knows that you get tone and definition by doing light weights and many reps. You will need a second tool for this. A silver spoon works best. I use an oversized silver spoon, because I am a larger person. Instead of lifting the entire tub, you lift spoonfuls of dough repeatedly. You can do this while you are talking on the phone, downloading files at the computer, or going through the drive-thru.
Follow this routine well into the holidays, and you will soon have the physique that will keep you warm. For variety, you can try cookie dough with walnuts.
Oh, and you will probably want to buy two buckets, so you do not have to turn around in front of your house to make another run to CostCo.
The dough will let you know.
posted by Very Anonymous Mike @ 9:03 PM
5 Comments:
Ok, how much codough are your doing each day? I.e., what's your habit? I have 11 more steps for you after you finish with this first one.
It's NOT a "habit."
It's a "workout regime."
BEEFCAKE! BEEFCAKE!
I was told that doing "light weights/high reps" to give yourself cut, toned muscles is a myth. (Started by the corrupt low-weights/high-reps industry.)
It seems that, according to Camp Councelor Randy, ALL muscle is toned, and it is just a matter of removing the fat in front of it... or, is that enlarging the muscle behind it? I forget. Maybe he will come back and explain when he isn't so busy patting Stephen on the back for gargling with gravel, flying to Spain for the running of the goldfish, or some other sufferophile's version of losing weight.
Randy's logic was that if the low-weights/high-reps theory was true, every slacker at the gym would have chisled bodies. (You know the type. They set a machine to about six ounces and do about 75 repetions
(continued from "75 repetions") per set. They're called "women."
Butterfat makes some very good points, asks some very good questions, and since I am THEE originator of this workout (and Lord of this blog), I would be the person most qualified to address these concerns.
1. That is, a fifty pound rucksack of COOKIE DOUGH. Good job. Over time (and holidays), you have slowly increased the weight you carry, thereby increasing muscle mASS.
2. Well put once again, Butterfat! Cookies and ice cream, both having butter in them, are good for a shiny coat. Yes, you could actually melt the weight off. The bad news? You would actually have to go to Arizona.
I am here to help.
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