I Cannot Give Kaiser Permamente A Big Enough Middle Finger

So, walking twice a day didn't lose me one gaddam pound. Two weeks,... okay, one gaddam pounds, but that isn't enough. I was told that stress will do that to you, make you retain your weight. Stress also made all the gaddam symptoms the doctor was asking me about appear.

So, I go to the specialist. I explain the work situation, and she seems to understand saying, "We need to expedite this." She tells me that my heart rate isn't high enough. (????) Then, she mentions that she could put me on a treadmill for 20 min. but instead puts me on a heart monitor for 24 hrs. straight. (I had better not find out that we could have gotten in 20 min. what she made me take 24 hrs. to get. Then again, nevermind, as you'll see.)

So, I leave her office, and go to an intermediary office. They send me back to the front office. The front office says, "We cannot hook it up today, because there would be nobody here tomorrow to read it." (Can't I just turn it in? I have to go out of town Saturday.) That's the problem. The doctor gets it, but then you're at the mercy of secretaries. I think, overall, they do not consider the differences between choices. It's all the same to them. Come back extra times, jump through extra hoops. At this point, I'm leaving them.

So, I turn in my monitor, and despite the fact that my doctor says, "If you do not get a reading w/in 24 hours, call me," it does no good. I call, and they say, "We've read it, but we have not put it into the computer yet." So, hollow placation from Dr. Dingbat.

When they put the heart monitor on me, they said, "Okay, your heart rate isn't raising." Then, she mentions, "pacemaker." Screw that. I'm out of there. Now, I have these pills. They're supposed to regulate my heart rate and train it to beat evenly. In our last call, the doctor was going to extend our relationship another week, and I had to, once again, hold her hand, and redirect the conversation to my work card.

I'm back at work now. Going to go back and get more bloodwork done. Then, I'm going to have those results transferred to my new doctor.

Kaiser Permamente, where YOU are your own doctor.

My Current Situation

Bleh...

Didn't think this would happen to me. Especially after having such a
successful '08 with the weight loss and exercise. For my job, every two
years, I have a physical to see if I'm fit enough to sit all day. This
time, I had actually had passed my physical. Even my blood pressure was
fine, when it was high about the year previous. Problem was, the doctor
had left me in a gown, alone in a room for about a half hour "because
they were backed up." When I thought we were finished, I just wanted out
of there, so I wasn't really paying attention to his questions. He found
an irregular heartbeat, which I knew about, but really, this tool just
left me in a room alone in a gown for 30 minutes. I just wanted out.
When he asked, "Has anyone ever spoken to you about this before," I said
no, when I should have said yes. He took an EKG, and found an irregular
heartbeat and some background noise he called "aortic fibrulation"

He refused to sign my medical card.

I had never not passed a physical before, and just a year previous, I
lost more weight in one year than I had my entire life previously. How
could this happen? I only had one week before my medical card expired. I
thought that I could go to my doctor, and override the first doctor.
Nope. I was off the job that second. Went to my doctor. He found the
same thing. Could not sign me back to work. Now, I have to wait until I
can get a echo cardiogram and THEN see a specialist. That will be 2 1/2
weeks.

I'm not okay with this. I'm REALLY not okay with this. As many of the
cholesterol lowering foods that I eat off that gaddam list, I should NOT
have a problem with cholesterol. (Did I mention that? I'm on those meds
now, too.) I take an aspirin every morning. I have to lose weight, but I
am forbidden to do strenuous exercise. No one will tell me that this
problem can be solved. Oh, and once you leave the gaddam doctor's
office, don't think you get to speak directly to a doctor again w/o and
appt. I needed something for work, and the first time, I had to speak
through a nurse twice, and the second time, I had to speak through a
receptionist who spoke through a nurse. Remember what a failure the game
"telephone" is?

I wouldn't mind having the problems if I wasn't being kept in the dark
or people were not being so careful NOT to give me hope. Also, I would
not question the integrity of all involved if they put me through this
on my own time, not on the job clock. Yea, seems that someone noted this
aortic thing back in '05, but thought it wasn't worth bringing up.

You can't tell by talking to me, but I'm not okay with this.

In psychology, they say that you are only as strong as your support
system. Key members of that system seemed to have disappeared recently.
I spend a lot of time thinking about this on my own, or distracting
myself from thinking about it. I walk twice a day. Doesn't mean it's
going to solve a problem that wasn't solved by losing 50 gaddam pounds.

I'm really not okay with this.

'09 Recap

It's been almost a year since I last wrote in this blog. The reason? As
far as weightlifting or weightdropping, nothing noteworthy has happened
in 2009. I've kept my dietary habits (mostly). I've maintained my lower
weight (mostly). What I have lost is my great exercise routine. I was
doing so great. In the past couple of weeks, I got back to doing
something several times a week. Before that, maybe once or twice every
two weeks. Part of that is not my fault. Announcing went through the
roof with my working for five leagues, plus tournaments. I should have
been able to work out more, but the work involved became overwhelming.
Even if I had time, all I wanted to do was sit, and diffuse, letting the
blah run out my ears while I did something on the level of watching
cartoons.

I can do it. I just have to adjust to the new routine. Like juggling
four balls instead of two. Gotta see things needing to be done farther
in advance, and moving to do them sooner. Some days, even though I had
time, I was so tired, that while I was awake, I wasn't really there.
Now, I'm adding to that schedule. On the other hand, fewer road trips
should help even things out. It doesn't help that all the motivation has
to come from me. Sometimes, you just don't have anything left.

So, I want to get back into it. I want to continue losing weight. At
least commit to some kind of cardio everyday. Haven't even touched my
scale. It's disguised as a pile of clothing.

Quick Food Facts for a Neglected Blog

EGGS -- builds muscle, burns fat.
TURKEY AND LEAN MEATS -- builds muscle, strengthens immune system, holds seasonings. Also, IT'S MEAT.
PEANUT BUTTER -- boosts testosterone, builds muscle, burns fat, spreads on body parts and IT'S ALSO PEANUT BUTTER.
ALMONDS -- builds muscles, reduces cravings, tastes frickin' awesome. Word.
BEANS AND LEGUMES -- builds muscles, helps burn fat, regulates digestion, but has a funky name.
GREEN LEAFY VEGGIES -- neutralizes free radicals ... WTF?
DAIRY OR ITS SUBSTITUTES -- builds strong bones, speeds up weight loss. (also makes you crave food from its sugars and carbs. Be careful on this one)
OATMEAL -- boosts energy, reduces cholesterol, maintains blood sugar
OLIVE OIL -- lowers cholesterol, boosts immune system, makes you EXTRA Italian.
WHOLE GRAINS -- prevents body from storing fat. (We're gonna need a bigger grain. Wait, doesn't beer have "whole grains"?)
EXTRA PROTEIN -- builds muscle, burns fat (In other words, "Does protein stuff.")
BERRIES -- protects heart; improves balance, eyesight and coordination.


From "Sports Nutrition -- A Hardcore Diet" by Ramb0 Samb0. Published in Issue 8, Blood and Thunder

Three Beer Lunches

I forgot about that part of the previous blog. You see, I hit 50 lbs. quickly, and sat there, stuck for a month. What was worse, I was going to the gym up to six times a week, and my damn weight wasn't budging. So, I met a friend downtown for three days, and each day, we went and had beer lunches. Those beers were 20 oz., so they were jumbo pints. These, on top of heavy lunches, should have ruined my good work.

Turns out, my good work was ruining my good work.

Within three days of gaining two pounds, my wrecking ball theory worked again. I reached my goal... the damn day I was going to Vegas.

*bow*

50 Spent

This is the nickname my friend gave me when I told her that I reached my goal.
I think that I am going to linger at this weight for a while.

GOOOOAAAAALLLLLLLL..... (or, Three Beer Lunches)

I'm a little overdue for this blog, especially since I have reached my year-end goal of 52 pounds, and five months early. As my world works, I achieved my goal THE GADDAM DAY I WAS LEAVING FOR FIVE DAYS IN VEGAS!

Christ, how fair is that? Anyway, still counts. Turns out, I was not that hungry while in Vegas. I think I had two meals at most, and the rest of the time, packed diet snacks. Also, I have become such a lightweight, that the two CostCo bottles of liquor are hardly touched. The gin is 1/3 of the way down while the vodka might be 1/4. I might have gained two pounds while there. (When I told my friend that I reached my goal, he talked about gaining two pounds. There has not been one day of this diet where I was one weight the entire day. The weights I report are the lowest points of my day, and trust me, as often as I step upon that scale, I have researched it. Heck, my range for most days is seven pounds. I do not think you could tell if you have actually gained weight, or if it is just the day's fluctuation.)

Back to those jumbo liquor bottles. I have found out that their weight and their hand holds are perfect for hand weights in working out your shoulders. Yes, I squat and military these things over and over again. they fit so well over my four fingers, that I do not even need to make a fist. The bottle just hangs over the back of my hand. (My latest series of aerobics weights class have let me know that my shoulders have not come along with the rest of my body. Cosmetically, I think shoulders would be a good thing. Plus, you really want balance. You do not want your body working at one level, and one day, you find some odd chore that makes you cry.)

Unfortunately, the reward for doing a good workout would make less of a workout the next time.

Year-end Goaaaaaaalllllll

We're doing 52 pounds in 52 weeks. I have 5 3/4 months to lose five pounds.

All of you, drive to my house and high-five me RIGHT NOW!

40 Lbs. To Freedom

It has been a while since I have posted. At the point that I am at, I think it is just redundant to post about every little pound. I was down 47 pounds before this 4th of July weekend, so right now, I'm about 43 down. No biggie. I find that pounds gained on cheat weekends are probationary, the same way freshly lost pounds are.

I am so far down, that the clothing I mentioned earlier that I bought for the smaller me is now falling off. People that have not seen me for a while credit my goatee for looking so good, saying, "You didn't have that before, right"? (I did. It just covered another chin.) Also, I say that pounds are probationary, but let me tell you, I was STUCK-STUCK-STUCK at the 40 lb. mark. The problem was that I needed to go two weeks without breaking the diet, and each weekend was a bar night or a meal night. Now, I never pigged out, but I had to go almost pure. I had to explain about 100 times why I could accept whatever, but Saturday night, one light beer. Sunday night, a half a beer. Monday morning, 40 lb. barrier broken.

Now that I am almost a half a century lighter, I find that fitness is easier to start. Last week, because I was finishing my first half of my split shift so early, that I could attend a different class everyday at 8:30 am. Some I'm better at, some worse, but just to keep it switched up, and keep me sweating. Plus, it's something to focus on, besides being the only guy in the class.

The other night, I started my 4th weekend a little early. The happy hour on Thursday was a mile and a half away, so I walked it. Now, that mile and a half is all downhill there, and all uphill back.

I not as thin as I deserve to be.

Sixteen Week Final

Well, look at that last entry. I've been out of it, at least where writing is concerned. My list of excuses are...

1. 45 hours of work per week for over a month now. Sometimes, despite best intentions, it's nap time.
2. Fighting a cold during this work schedule. More naps.
3. Last year, I became an announcer for women's roller derby. We went from one bout a month, with one team that I was familiar with to four bouts a month with four teams I had never met. A lot of the time, I am here, but I am practicing punny names.
4. Computeric wastes of time. I'd be lying if I did not mention these. (I'm not even including the porn.)
5. New car! Okay, talk about a world of homework. I'm writing on my other blog, iwillmissyouwheniamfamous.blogspot.com about the car shopping experience, because I think everybody, like this one, can benefit from the information.
6. Going out. Suddenly, I have two month of social events in which to attend.

So, life happens. I type on.

By the time it was party time, I had lost 28 of the 16 lbs. Near the end, I was shooting for 32 lbs. in 16 weeks, but at the same time, I was ready for a break from the scale. Not from the diet per se, but from the constant checking and obsessing. The day was great. Just before I went to the party, I realized that I had just renewed my driver's license, and the picture was from two weeks before I began. I carried that around the party to show the difference. It was fun getting the "Oh wow's." It was funner carrying around a license to eat and drink my ass off.

Someone made 3 cheese garlic bread, and someone else's extra bbq sauced baked beans on top were the best things there. (Next to MORE BEER.) It was great just not counting.

It took until Wednesday to lose the weight that I gained at that party. Then, I lost a little more, and broke the 30 lb. mark. While 20 lbs. is a good chunk of weight to lose, I LIKE SAYING "THIRTY." After that, I took a couple of weeks off, mostly to finish stuff I had in the freezer like wheat bread and cheese. Even wheat bread prevented me from losing weight. I maintained, and only ate two slices a day. After that, I caught a cold, and so it wasn't until this week until I dipped below thirty.

The new goal is 52 lbs. in 52 weeks. Stay tuned.