Apology To My Trainers
I’m sorry.
This is a letter of apology to my trainers at FitCamp, Jason and Randy.
I am sorry for running away… far away, until I am out of sight, and not coming back until I stop panting like a dog.
I am sorry for lying on the ground, and flapping my arms so I appear to be working on my abs, but really, I am working on your nerves.
I am sorry for using a medicine ball as a pillow when the objective is to lift the shoulders to work the abs.
I am sorry for using my mass to cut-off your six year old while we are racing across the field.
I am also sorry for calling Randy’s daughters back to me to ask what they are doing, so I can run past them while they are caught off guard.
I am sorry that my squat lunges turn into more of a wedding march across the field.
I am sorry for the sweat stains that I left in the grass.
I am sorry that we do not run closer to the soccer moms.
I am sorry that I am mean to teacher’s pet.
I am sorry that Tacos El Gordo is located closer to Mexico than where we hold FitCamp.
I am sorry for inventing a fake run that is really not much more than hyper-walking with a contorted face.
I am sorry when I influence the other children at FitCamp to behave badly.
I am sorry for arriving early, so I have to drag so much of the equipment across the field.
I am sorry that I do not have Steve’s metabolism.
I am sorry when I have to do more exercises if the nurses are late returning from their run, because of magic nurse yapping.
I apologize in advance for anyone I come close to hitting with a medicine ball because hurling that thing might be my only skill on that field.
What I am not sorry for is feeling totally whipped for several hours after my workout, because as long as I am feeling that, none of the above is cheating. It is succeeding, because I am making it to the end of the workout. It is succeeding, because the following week, I go back.
posted by Very Anonymous Mike @ 9:12 PM
6 Comments:
Apology accepted... for now!
Some how this is a GREAT testimonial... if only I can condence it some how.
Keep up the good work Mikey and thanks for always adding the comedic relief needed to sometimes strenuous work!
Mike, you are too funny! Magic nurse yapping... guilty as charged. I am sorry I don't have Steve's metabolism too. See you Saturday for our next butt-kicking.
Wow! that was a long list of apologies, I hope you achieve your goal.
I thought it was funny when you beat Randy's daughters, then told them they "got served". I don't think they can forget about that.
My metabolism is matched by my appetite. It also hurts to eat the whole bag of pistachios. Argh.
1. Greg, my goal was to cheat. Goal achieved.
2. One bag of pistachios is going to make the waste process an interesting and highlighted one.
word up.
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