I'll Kill It in the Morning

Last night, I got on the scale, and saw the same number I always do. I was getting tired of that number. As the frustration was building, what occurred to me was the time. It was not morning, when I usually see that number, it was evening. God damn evening. That number has only made an appearance in the morning, when I am at my lightest. For me, there is a four to five pound difference between when I go to bed and when I wake up.

At that point, I couldn't wait to wake up. Finally, I was going to kill my goal. I wake up, and what do I see? Yea, one pound over my goal.

DAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMIT! @#$%@#!!!

Okay, so this thing isn't going to go away quietly. I am right there. Last weekend, I was good, and the worst thing I had was one drink at an after party. (My favorite bartender looked truly hurt, like she lost an old friend.) I guess that I am going to have to choke this thing like Leia did Jabba in "Return of the Jedi." Too big to get my hands, or even my arms, around its neck, I am going to have to take a chain, and ride it until it dies. (Look at those last two sentences. Am I on a diet or in a prison movie?)

My latest tactic is to not have meals when I can have snacks. I'm trying to break my meals down to six or seven very small ones a day, and make sure each of them involve some kind of protein. (That does it. Time for a therapist.)

She Gluttons Me, She Gluttons Me Not

This week, my weight has plateaued TWO FRICKIN' POUNDS above my goal. Dammit, dammit, dammit. I was reading one of Randy's nutrition papers. Remember that "three snacks a day" thing? It seems that I am supposed to eat three snacks a day, "whether I want them or not."

Wait. You're saying that I'm not losing weight, cause I'm not EATING ENOUGH? Jezzus. Also, each of those snacks must have some protein in them. I thought I was doing good, not wanting as much food.

WELL, A MAN'S GOTTA DO WHAT A MAN'S GOTTA DO.

Protein powder on Cheetoes.
Protein powder on cookie dough.
Protein powder in a glass of wine.

My Scale Is An Asshole

Or, how about "Hey, scale! You suck!"? Or, "ARRGH!"

It seems that the day after I hit my low, like last time, the number jumped up about nine pounds. After this happened last time, I was less angry than I was before. That urge to throw furniture had gone, and only left me with your average rage and frustration.

Determined to beat this quickly, for the past two days, I've done a three mile hike. Today, the number is back down to 2 lbs. over my goal. I think to be at my goal, I'm going to have to reach a point of seven pounds under it.

What I want to do the next time my weight does a spike like that is to get some air, and land on that smartass scale's glass top with both feet. Sucker can go from a scale measuring pounds to a rector scale.

One thing I am noticing is that at my new weight(s), that things that were a "workout" before aren't so much anymore. I might have to add to my workouts.

This whole exercise thing is getting out of hand. I am going to have to put a stop to it before it is too late.

Instead Of Weeks, How About Days

With 10 ½ weeks left in the competition, I saw my goal weight. Now, it was an early morning weight-in, so I do not count it as final, but if history means anything, any number I have seen during this diet, I have achieve in a few days. At this rate, I am going to lose my weight, and the other two guys that have mysteriously vanished, their weight, too.

I’m telling you, it’s all about the snacks. Healthy snacks. I figured that a bag of chips or donut is about a buck, and so is a health food bar if you buy them by the box. There are times that by dinnertime, I am only in the mood for another snack. I may have technically eaten more on this diet than when I was not dieting. Also, just knowing you can have snacks lets you order a lighter meal than you otherwise would, because the fear of getting caught in the middle of your day hungry goes away.

Still not exercising regularly.

The other day, I heard Janet Jackson say in an interview about her shape, “If you’re doing good on your diet, then you only have to worry about the exercise a little bit.”

She’s right.

Losing Weight The Brain Way

I wrote in a previous blog the many “secrets” to my almost too successful weight loss. Everything that I am doing is not only common sense, but in one way or other, things I have done in the past. I have eating better, I have drunk less, and I have exercised more. What I hadn’t done was do all of them together. While thinking about my other entries about weight dropping, I realized that diet is not something you do for a few weeks or a couple of months just to drop some pounds. What I was doing was a permanent way for me, and that put on weight. What I needed to do was find a new and permanent way to live that would take the pounds off.

In a way, I mentioned that before, but I felt that this was a more specific explanation. I said that Bill’s e mail got into my head, but this is more specifically how.

Last week, I did not lose any weight, but I maintained my low, despite three days of some beer. In weight loss, alcohol, even in small quantities, has the same affect it does when you are taking antibiotics. It interrupts the process, and while the weight does not all return, your weight jumps up, and the momentum of loss needs time to gain steam.

So, if alcohol does that, why do I drink it? The reason I gave above. The changes that I am making are permanent, including bad days. I am not giving up anything forever. I am not killing myself with exercise. I am not resolving myself to only bird food. I am just going to do well, and be consistent forever.

After all, the deal still is 16 pounds in 16 weeks. Sixteen pounds in four months? That is something that I have never been able to do in my life, and now, I don’t know why. Sixteen pounds is time for a new set of clothes. Sixteen pounds is one pound away from the next wall I want to break. One pound a week. That’s all. In one year, that is 52 pounds. That is me walking right past you, and you would miss me. That is me becoming a totally different me.

They say after the age of 25 your metabolism begins to slow down. I do not think that applies to me as much as I thought it did. They say that after being on a diet for two weeks that your body tells you that it is hungry, even when it is not, to protect its food stores. I was eating so much, but healthy food, that I did not even notice. Mind you, the first few days, I would have a binge meal every four days or so. Sometimes, it took some chocolate milk to stop the low-sugar shakes. Then again, Randy (you see his website to the right of this page) told me that once a week, it is good to eat a lot. Revs up your metabolism, he says.

Mission Accomplished. (Cod piece provided by Tyson Chicken.)

Even My Feet

All of this week, my feet have been sliding around in my shoe. Sideways. I checked with a trainer, and he said that yes, you can definitely lose weight in your feet.

*tighteninglaces*


Oh, this week wasn't a great weight loss week. Sunday was Super Bowl and Tuesday was... well, fat. Still, the bounce back is great. In two days, it went back to its low.

I'm almost at my goal, and it's only the fifth week.

Four Weeks Later

Despite the dates of these blogs, they are both written four weeks after the diet started. I have lost a little over ten pounds in this time. Bill and I are the only ones still in the race. Well, I don't want to call it a race, because it's not a competition. At least, I do not look at it that way, but tomorrow is Bill's Super Bowl party, and the two guys that have not committed to this are either not showing up or have not mentioned coming. I told Bill, "These guys should do this now, while they have the support and education on their side. Next time they will want to try, me and Bill will not be in their club, and they will not be in ours."

When I started off, I was losing three pounds a week. (I mentioned before that two pounds per week is a strong, safe pace to be at.) I am not doing anything drastic. I just changed almost everything a little bit.

*I stopped drinking *COmostlyUGH*. (I have discovered that your body uses a different method of processing alcohol calories, and while it does this, it does not utilize what goes into it. The alcohol becomes heat and everything is sent to fat. It basically prevents your body from processing fat. Alcohol is like the cockblocker of dieters.)
*I made sure that my fridge had healthy food stocked and handy. (Whole wheat snacks, pasta and bread. Fruit. Baked chicken. (Pounds of it, so it could be used in a sandwich, or tossed into a soup to satisfy the appetite.)
*I have a friend that is a trainer that sends me awesome information about health, diet and exercise. It was one of those papers that explained why some cheese and peanut butter is good for you.
*Sometimes, I need a meal, so I have it. It's a healthy meal, but it's more. Sometimes, it's just like that.
*Snacks. They are muy importante. Eat three light meals, then have three snack throughout the day. This has kept me from pulling over to 7/11 or attacking my fridge when I get home. I keep almonds handy, because they are great for suppressing an appetite. (I hear grapefruit does, also. Too bad it's grapefruit.) Health food bars and apples. I keep lots of celery around, and have a couple of sticks before dinner. It helps me fill up with no calorie food, and celery is a negative calorie food. This means that your body uses more calories to process it than it takes in by eating it.
*I weigh myself after a good dump. (I look at that dump, guess the number of pounds it is, and then go to the scale to see if I am correct.)
*Whey protein powder. (I heard that this was good for muscle development. What it is is something that you can add to milk, cereal or other foods that gives a protein boost, and once again, suppresses the appetite.)
*Working out (I wish I could say that I've been hitting the gym, but I've had a cold all month. Yep, I've lost a good chunk of weight with only occasional walks and infrequent weight lifting.)
*Portion control. (All of the above plus salads contribute to this.)

My point is that you do not have to kill yourself in any category. You just have to do everything better. In fact, killing yourself in any one area is what makes you quit a diet in the first place. Starving yourself, wearing yourself out, neither are good or good for you.
At our rate, me and Bill might be done in only two months time. At the end of the one-month point, the other guys could still get on board, only having to lose 1.2 pounds per week. What can you do? I think I have realized that a diet isn't temporary. What I was doing got me to this point. Any changes that I make have to be permenant. That means good with some bad. Just not bad all of the time.

16 Pounds In 16 Weeks

I should have been blogging this the entire time. I guess I haven't, because it sounded so simple that I thought it was impossible. It should have been something that occurred to me long ago.

At the beginning of the year, a friend sent out this e mail.

Ok, I am throwing down the gauntlet!!!

 

   After getting on the scale yesterday and finding out I GAINED 10

pounds this year, I am officially challenging you to loose some weight with me!!!

 

   All of us could use to loose a "couple" pounds, I have heard everyone mention they would "like" to loose some weight, I even think each of us has, or should I say /HAD/ lost some weight, and hopefully this will get or keep ALL of us motivated to do so. I'm not trying to make it a competition to loose the MOST weight,

Just to LOOSE SOME weight.

   My challenge is not a very hard one. ONE pound per week, for 16 weeks! Broken down, between now and April 26th (a Saturday) there are 16 weeks.

April 26th is also suspiciously close to a couple birthdays I know of, and there is usually a party that goes on that weekend (of which

you are all invited to by the way), so that would be a perfect final

date. (Also, if anyone doesn't make all 16# they *don't get any

cake*!! Ok, you can still have some ribs, but NO CAKE!!)

But, I challenge you (and myself) to loose 16# in the 16 weeks!!

Now 16# sounds like a lot, but 1# per week . . . come on, a good poop will do that!!!! Also, 1# per week is NOT hitting the gym 5 times a week, walking 2 hours a day, eating salad with your favorite water on it. It's more like walking 20 minutes 3-4 times a week, NOT super sizing, I want the side salad instead of the fries, Diet Coke or better yet water instead of regular soda. If those lard butts on Biggest Looser can loose 19# in ONE WEEK, we can do 1# per week!!!

Ya, ya, "work . . . busy . . . cold out . . . tired . . . no time ... get up early . . . stay up late . . ." me too!

Let's do this or I'm going to have to put on the Cheerleader outfit

again, and I don't think ANYBODY wants to see that!!! If everyone turns to the left and kicks the butt of that person we will all get to kick AND be kicked.

My "official" weigh in #1 is 241. That is still down 15# from my max, but UP 22# from 2 years ago!! MY total goal is to loose 70# in 2 years. That's 280 Quarter Pounders, almost 8.5 gallons of water, a bag of cement, a 6" x 6" x 20" solid bar of aluminum, an 8' bar of steel

1.5"x 1.75", a 1x12 tube guitar amp in EACH HAND . . .

I can't carry a loaded backpack that weights 50# for more than a

couple hundred yards, but I can carry an extra 70 pounds with every step?? Go to Home Depot and pick up a gallon of paint in each hand. Not too bad. Now, pick up a 5 gallon bucket of paint, then pick up another one, then walk with them both. That's the difference in weight. Hurts huh!! That's my way of looking at it.

Hope this will motivate you to join me, I know it has me!!! Now I'm going to finish my salad and skip the big cookie!!

Bill 

Gee, that Bill sure is fat, but he does have a point. I had never thought of it like that before. All of these years, wanting to lose weight. If I had just done one pound a week, in one year, I would have lost all of the weight. When you say it, "one pound a week," it sounds like nothing. Two pounds per week is a healthy rate of weight loss. One pound should be easy. I have always thought the weight I needed to lose as one enormous mountain that I had to conquer, not many 1 lb. speed bumps. Maybe it was due to the team effort, maybe it was due to how it was phrased, but this e mail got into my head unlike I have ever been able to get into my own.

In the past, I have always eaten better for a while, drank less for a while, worked out harder for a while, but never all together. It just dawned on me that as I get older, the weight isn't going to lose itself. If I really wanted it, then I'd have to change everything.

So, I did.